To be a professional song writer was once my dream. It remains a dream if not a fantasy. I may not be a professional song writer but I can somehow write songs occasionally.
I started writing a song in second year high school. I wrote my first song in about 2 hours. And in the same day I finished writing it, I joined a summer camp singing contest and sang that song. That was how confident I was with my song writing despite my not-so-high confidence in my singing skills. Haha! And when it was my turn to sing in that contest, I had 6 takes to finish my song. Yes, SIX gutsy takes! I guess everyone watching was amused with my guts. ("Kapal ng mukha" in Filipino)
But I can still recall that my self-esteem was undiminished despite of that seemingly embarassing moment. Deep inside me, I felt I had the gift. I continued writing songs and personally enjoyed it and until eventually a good number of people took notice.
I was fortunate enough that I had superiors and friends then who encouraged me to develop that talent. In my senior year, our Principal, who was incidentally my spiritual director, encouraged me or should I say ordered me to develop my talent in song writing. He tasked me to write songs for community programs such as the Annual Welcome Program for freshmen, Intramurals, Parents' day, Graduation and other important community events. But did my peers really liked those songs I have written? That would be another story! (I hope they did. Else, I pity them for being "used" by someone who wanted to develop his song writing skills.)
Contemporary songwriters such as Ogie Alcasid, Jamie Rivera, Jimmy Antiporda, Tots Faustino, APO, Odette Quesada, Jose Marie Chan and Ryan Cayabyab, to mention a few, really inspired me. I never missed watching Ryan-Ryan Musikahan then. It was very inspiring.
I really wanted to enroll in UP Conservatory of Music. But the thought of the possibility of not being able to financially support a family by being a professional musician scared me then. My family's financial crisis at that time aggravated that fear further.
So I just put this talent to a better use. Aside from composing songs for school occasions, I also wrote and recorded songs for women I intended to court. Unfortunately, I always had a broken heart after giving them my songs. I sounded like a hopeless romantic with my songs. Believe it or not, but up to now I have this sort of belief that my love songs had some kind of curse on me. So far, women for whom I write love songs, for some reason or another, usually get disconnected with me - emotionally and pyhsically - after some time. It's one reason(or excuse) why I am bit scared to write a song for my wife. (Strangely it does not scare her...hahaha!) An exception, of course, were my friends who asked me to write a song for their girlfriends. Two out of two of them are happily married now with the women to whom they gave my song. This is where my songs strike a luck. Any single man out there wants to try my lucky songs? (Hmmm...why not make a business out of this?)
I remember joining a songwriting contest in my high school senior year. I knew I had a very good composition then. Quite many of my friends and superiors liked my song entry. Unfortunately, the contest was cancelled after I have submitted my entry. I also attempted to join the Metro-Pop songwriting contest. I admittedly procarastinated at that time.
But just recently my song was adjudged in the top ten of the Kerygma Family songwriting contest (I hope there were more than 10 song entries submitted). It will be included in the album production of Shepherd's Voice Praise and Worship Songs. It feels good and very encouraging. It has almost been 12 years when I started to write songs again this year. I thought I've lost it but thank God it's still there.
I hope I can further enhance this gift to inspire and bless others - either with inspiring songs or with songs that give them a better idea of how NOT to write a song.
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